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I Am a Writer

I am a writer

I am a writer. There, I said it. You would think that wouldn’t be a problem, but actually saying it doesn’t come easily for me. For years all I wrote were plays for kids in schools, poems for my friends and family, and a huge number of things that nobody ever saw. I did take creative writing classes in high school and college, but when my poems or stories appeared in the student magazines, I shuddered. In my mind, I was not a real writer, and I felt sure that nobody should be subjected to my ramblings.

But then I wanted to write kids’ books. I knew I would never get published, so my fear of people reading my work wasn’t a deterrent to trying. Surprise! I did get published, and people read our stories. (The three books I have out now are co-written with Ellen Rothberg). Soon after, a few short stories were published. Things were moving, and it wasn’t so bad! But I still didn’t think of myself as a writer. I was first and foremost a teacher who wrote, as opposed to a writer who taught.

Now when I go into schools to do author talks, I always tell the kids that they are authors. I want those aspiring writers to think of themselves as writers and not have the same self-doubt that plagued me for so long. If you write, you are a writer. Period. Many of the kids I speak to have written “books.” They may not be published and on the shelves at Barnes and Noble, but hey, it’s not like I have an editor at Random House either. I tell them that they are authors just as much as I am. They laugh, clap, and jump up and down. They always make me smile.  But  there were times in the past when I’d go home and wonder if I was a fake. Was I still a writer and an author even though I hadn’t had a book published in a few years? To be honest, there were certain times when I really wasn’t a writer. I spent a lot of time marketing my books and hardly any time writing. That was fine because my favorite thing to do is go into the schools and connect with kids. I love it, and I never want to give up that part.  But that’s not writing.

Fast forward to now. I finally can say with confidence that I am a writer. In fact, it’s probably time to change that occupation on Facebook! It’s not that I have more books published, it’s that I have more books written. I write every day, and I have my eye on the prize. I will get more books out. Once again, I have a notebook and computer filled with poems, essays, partially written stories, and even a few completed ones. I’m not even afraid to let people read my work. Well, usually I’m not. Actually sometimes I’m not. But that comes with the territory. It’s scary, and the old self-doubt demon never leaves. But without sounding like a clichéd motivational speaker, doing what you love sometimes forces you out of your comfort zone.

So dear readers, what do you do that you love?  Yes, I am still a teacher, mom, friend, grandmother, etc. And I love being all of that. But I am also a writer. Because I write. What are your thoughts on the subject?

10 Comments
  • Inspiration Indulgence
    Posted at 16:51h, 10 February

    Aw I love this! I love how you tell the children that they ARE writers. I guess I have always waited to claim that title but I am as well. I have been writing since I was a little girl and am trying to get my blog to take off. Also reaching freelance opportunities. Crossing my fingers for a successful future. Thanks for the inspiration!

    • ellenleventhal
      Posted at 17:17h, 10 February

      Thanks! You will soon see that I quickly wrote another post because my husband found a typo in the last one! I think that mixes in with how insecure we all are and how writing is definitely life! What is your blog? I will follow it!

  • Linda E.H.
    Posted at 20:35h, 10 February

    I totally understand. For two years now I’ve been calling myself “a wanna be writer”. It’s hard to get past the doubts.

    • ellenleventhal
      Posted at 02:09h, 12 February

      Linda, I’ve read your work…prose and poetry…you are definitely a writer!

  • Rachel
    Posted at 11:44h, 11 February

    Well, for what it’s worth, I always brag about “my aunt, the writer”! 😀

  • rsonenshine
    Posted at 22:23h, 11 February

    Ellen, I can completely relate to this! I would like to be able to say with confidence that I am a writer, but that inner-critic whispers, “You’re not even published.” I know I need to work on that and keep in mind your advice. I write; therefore, I am a writer! Great post!

    • ellenleventhal
      Posted at 02:07h, 12 February

      Randi, I aspire to be a great a writer as you are!

  • Self Improvement
    Posted at 19:43h, 28 December

    Great post . . . I was just searching for some quotes related to self improvement and came across this page. Definitely like the site and added it to my feedly to follow!

    http://www.jonanxin.com/blog